Creative Heavens

The files that Dominick left behind were burnt the day he died. He'd been sixteen then, with a chiseled handsomeness that was too old for him, and a lean, agile body that allowed him to scrape through narrow situations. Most of all, he'd been so off-handedly charming.

It didn't make sense that she was telling Radzi all of this, but after all this time, someone finally bothered to ask, and the words poured out like jet-water, gushing out because the dam had been broken.

'It happened half a year ago. They found him in a ditch off the highway, said his car skidded when he lost control of the steering. It was raining, it was at night, it was an old car - the police come up with pretty excuses, don't they?' She tucked her knees under. 'If he were alive, he'd be twenty now, probably going into university and doing something fantastic like solving the Bermuda mysteries or publishing fancy, psychological theories about the Moors murders.'

'But of course, he can't.'

Rad gazed at her so intently that she looked away.

'I know he can't. The thing is, I know I can't, either. I could never do the things he did. Quite honestly, half the time I can't remember who Nick really was.' She put her hands to her temple. 'What I found in those files - they don't make sense, Rad. They were a great mess of letters and numbers and pictures and articles, none of them seemed right.'

Rad fidgeted at her side. 'Why'd you burn them? Did you read any of it?'

It took a long time for her to reply, and when she did, her voice was low. 'They had all these people in the pictures, people who'd committed robberies and murders and ... just ... sick stuff. There was a whole list of contact numbers and people's names, and scribbling everywhere, and I knew - I knew - he was going the same way as my mother.'

At this, Rad looked surprised. 'Your mother?'

'She's an alcoholic, and also addicted to certain drugs, but that's another story. Anyway, back in high school, Nick had this gang of friends, and while they appeared to be an average group of popular teenagers, there were times when I found them doing things beneath the bleachers or behind the toilets near the local bar. When I found the files, there was also this stash of drug tablets and liquids - Abraxane, Lac-Hydrid, Paliperidone, Epoetin something - the whole works. I threw them all away, burnt the papers, repainted his room. My mother and sister would never have to know.'

'You thought he was ... losing it?'

'That's a nice way to put it,' she replied darkly. 'I think he'd already lost it. I don't know how long he'd been taking the drugs, I've never even heard of those drug names, but if it was since high school, then I wouldn't be surprised he was that far gone.'

She looked at her boyfriend pleadingly. 'Rad, all those things just seemed so sinister, so mad. You can't imagine it, all the writings and circlings and doodles and numbers ... it was like getting inside the mind of a lunatic.'

'Do you think he was on drugs, the day he had that accident?'

'That was my first thought too, but no, the police said he was clean.' There was a chill in the wind. She shivered, and Rad voluntarily pulled her close.

'You know what's even weirder? The stuff was all there on his bed, as though he wanted someone to find it. If he'd hidden it under his bed or something, I wouldn't have found anything yet, none of us would have had the heart to clear out his things.' She leaned back and shook her head sadly. 'They were such brilliant boys - Nick, Daniel, Madrah, and Gui - all brains and brawn and dare-devil courage. They aced every test in school, they were in the football team, they were going to lead the world. And they were all crazy.'

Telling Rad everything made her feel so much lighter, as though the clasp inside her head had loosened a little, and at the squeeze of his hand, she relaxed. Everything could be okay. They were at the top of the Coska Hill and, here, they could see the end-to-end of the island.

'Is there anything you want to talk about? Anything else you remember?'

Nikki looked out at the great scenery. She didn't tell him the most important part - that she'd been proud to be Nick's sister, but also resentful; that he'd always brushed her off, that she'd always been the one pining for his attention, that he'd never cared when she did.

'No, nothing else.'