At that, Jean’s body goes stiff and the memory of Nick descended upon them like a veil, wiping the smiles off their faces and slackening their muscles.
No more wrestling for today.
‘Sorry,’ said Jean, walking out.
Nikki clicked the lock shut and slid to the floor, closing her eyes because of the look on Jean’s face. Angry, she took out a Marlboro and lit it up. They were more frequently needed now, the cigarettes, ever since her Nick’s death, and when Radzi commented on it, she vehemently insisted that it wasn’t the same as her mother’s drinking and her brother’s drugs.
The mask that she wore everywhere was just that - a mask. A mask that no one saw through, a mask that she so very often wore that she’d forgotten if a real person hid behind it, or if anyone would recognize her without a film of toughness that completed the image of the resilient, rugged girl.
‘Nikki, I’m home,’ yelled her mother from somewhere downstairs.
Dear mother, thought Nikki. And where were you last night?
‘Knock-knock. Happy fifteenth birthday, sweetie.’ Nikki stubbed out her cigarette before unlocking the door.
‘Thanks.’ Something inside her softened, and she eyed the little paper bag that her mother had with her. ‘Listen, I’m just going to change out of these pyjama bottoms …’
‘Good, so while you’re at it, you can change into a little something that I bought for you.’
Nikki rolled her eyes. ‘Mum, I don’t actually fancy dresses that you have to twirl around in …’
‘Dresses … ? Oh, no! No, no, no. I got you something entirely different. Ta-dah!’ Her mother took out an ankle-length skirt - complete with checkers.
It was really, really hard not to howl in frustration.
‘Mum, I’m fifteen! Not fifty!’
The door banged open.
‘Mummy!’ said Jean, already in a sunny yellow skirt and a white blouse, like one of those outfits you see on High-Five. ‘Mummy, can I get two dollars? I need it because Saktiar is buying me a pair of earrings, and they’re pwweety.’
‘What is this? The PM’s circus call? This is my friggin’ room! OUT!’
‘Mooommmm…’
‘Stop it, really, the both of you. If Nick was …'
Then there was this really huge silence. Nikki did not look up.
‘Well, now, we’ll just have to get you those bracelets, don’t we?’ Her mother’s voice was pitching like a bird’s.
‘Earrings, mum.’
Their mother cleared her throat. ‘Yes, sweetheart. Bearrings.’
If you were unfortunate, death took you away without mercy, and because he’d never had the chance to speak his mind, everyone assumed that he’d have done anything to live.
All a six-month period of time could do, was make your heart grow fonder. Of a boy who never grew past sixteen, at that.
‘I love the both of you,’ she said, giving them each a kiss. ‘But I have somewhere to be.You guys go ahead to that movie, okay? I’ll be back by ten.’
Jean looked at her with an unreadable expression, but whether it was out of disappointment or because she’d noticed the cigarette smell, Nikki would never find out. She grabbed her bag and jogged over the block, where Radzi’s car was waiting.
‘Are you sure you’re ready for this?’
‘I’ve got the address,’ she said, staring straight ahead. ‘I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.’
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